


Uneasy Lies The Head Who Wears The Crown

by Fuckfuckfuckimdying



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:22:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24999031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuckfuckfuckimdying/pseuds/Fuckfuckfuckimdying
Summary: Jared was fucked. He was waiting for most of the kingdom to arrive at the ball his parents (the King and Queen) set up because apparently jArEd NeEdS a WifE. Yea, fucking stupid. He thought so too.Or, Jared finds Evan at a ball and immediately falls in love.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

Jared slouched in his throne. His crown sat lopsided on his head. He sighed as he watched the people on the dance floor.

Jared was fucked. He was waiting for the rest of the kingdom to arrive at the ball his parents (the King and Queen) set up because apparently jArEd NeEdS a WiFe. Yea, fucking stupid. He thought so too.

And that's not even the worst part. Jared happens to be really really gay. And somehow he had forgotten to mention that to his parents. Well its not like he forgot, he just didn't feel like getting disowned and banished from the kingdom or something like that.

So yea, lots of fun.

He wasn't sure what to expect when he agreed to this ball. He was hoping that maybe if he was lucky, he could find some nice girl that he could pretend to date and explain his situation to. And maybe, just maybe, she would be chill with it.

But he isn't dumb. That's probably not how it's gonna go down. Jared has always had bad luck. Why would that change now?

"Jared, sweetie, can you at least pretend you're having fun?" Mrs. Kleinman pleaded.

"Yea son, just go down there and find some girl to dance with." Jared's dad chimed in.

"Nah, I think I'm good." Jared replied, sinking lower in his throne.

"Alright. We have been very lenient with you so far, but this is _bullshit-"_ Jared winced. His father rarely swore. "We could have married you off to princess Alana, but we decided that you would be much happier if you were to pick your own bride. It's not too late to go with Alana, so I swear to god if you don't-" 

"Okay, okay. I'm going. Calm your shit." Jared cut in before his father could finish.

Jared stood up, straightened his crown, and started down the marble stairs. Heads turned as he made his entrance, and he headed for the first girl that he saw.

She was pretty no doubt, but Jared just wasn't into that. (Obviously) She had short dark brown hair and was wearing a fluffy blue dress. From the looks of it she was a bit hyper. But that's probably because she had previously chugged like four cups of punch. (Jared had spiked it before the ball started. He couldn't wait for the alcohol to set in.)

"Your highness!" The girl practically shouted. Then she quickly bowed. 

"Oh.. you don't have to... do that." Jared sighed. He hated when people bowed for him. He would much rather be treated like a normal person.

"Why not?" She asked with a confused frown. "You're the prince, I'm supposed to bow."

"Um.. so what's your name?" Jared asked, attempting to change the subject.

"I'm Christine!" She said.

"Nice to meet you Christine, I'm Jared." He replied.

"I know that silly!" She said with a huge smile.

"So.. what do you do?" Jared asked, trying to make the conversation less awkward. "Well assuming you have a job. I mean we're only sixteen."

"I write musicals (: ." Christine answered. "Have you ever heard of Be More Chill? Just kidding, we're not breaking the fourth wall today."

"Yea, that would be bad. Also, how did you say (: out loud?" Jared asked, very confused.

"We're not going to talk about that." Christine said with a smile.

"No we are not." Jared confirmed.

"Well it was nice to meet you Christine. I hope I'll get to see you again before the end of the ball." Jared said and politely dismissed himself.

Christine seemed nice, Jared thought. She was just a little too hyper for his taste. She almost gave him a headache.

Now to find someone else to talk to.

Jared looked back up at his father who gave him a thumbs up, so customarily Jared shot him the bird and a nasty look back.

And that's when it happened. From across the ballroom, someone came into Jared's view.

And holy fuck....holy goddamned fuck.

Jared's braid short circuited. He was probably staring for longer than he should have been too. 

The boy he was staring at had on a light blue suit that fit him _just_ right. He had fluffy dirty blonde hair that looked soft. Like _really_ soft. Jared really wanted to run his hands through it. He looked to be a little nervous too. His cheeks were a bit red, and he was fiddling with the bottom of his tie. Jared couldn't see what color eyes the boy had, but he really wanted to find out.

\--

Evan could feel someone staring at him. He scanned the crowd trying to find who it was. That's until he locked eyes with the prince.

\--------------

**woo i'm all done for now that took way longer than it should have time to crawl into the hole i call my bed and sleep for a couple decades**

**-sincerely, your favorite creature of the void**


	2. Chapter 2

Jared stumbled backwards. He didn't expect for the boy to end up staring back at him. He panicked, quickly turning and speed walking in the other direction, occasionally looking back to make sure the boy wasn't following him.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!"

While facing the other way Jared had run into someone.

She was almost the same height as him. (Which kind of scared Jared. The look her face said he might get beat up.) She had light brown hair that was pinned up out of her face with a silver clip in the shape of a star. She was wearing a pinkish purple dress with silver galaxy deigns on it, and tapping one of her matching flats in annoyance.

"Uh.. sorry, I didn't see you" Jared tried apologizing

"Yea no shit. You almost knocked me over." The girl shot back.

"Heh.. sorry." Jared said again, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's fine. My name is Zoe Murphy." Zoe said holding out her hand. Her expression changing from slightly annoyed to neutral.

"Hi Zoe, I'm Jared." He said and shook it.

"I know who you are." Zoe replied. "Everyone here does."

Jared made a mental note to stop telling people his name, they already knew it.

"So why exactly did you run me over?" Zoe asked.

"Uh.. " Jared said. How exactly was he supposed to explain that he was staring at a cute boy who then happened to stare back, so then Jared had to immediately flee in fear of being confronted. "I plead the fifth." Jared finally decided on.

"What?" Zoe asked. Nothing this guy was saying made any sense to her.

"Nothing," Jared said, "I just wasn't watching where I was going." Nothing about that sentence sounded believable and Jared knew it.

"You sound like you're lying, but I'm not gonna question it." Zoe pointed out. "And I should know, my brother does a hell of a lot of lying."

"How _dare_ you!" Jared mocked, trowing his hands in the air in fake offense. "I would _never_!"

Zoe laughed.

"Wait, fuck." Jared gasped.

"What" Zoe asked 

"Where's my crown?"

Jared's hands patted his head until he was absolutely sure it wasn't there.

"Where did it go?" Jared said, starting to freak out a bit. His parents would kill him if he lost it. They were so paranoid that he would lose it that they wouldn't let him wear it on a daily basis. He only ever got to wear it for social events.

"Is it that important?" Zoe asked. "It's probably really expensive isn't it."

"Yea, there are like hundreds of millions of dollars worth of diamonds on it." Jared answered while frantically looking around the floor by his and Zoe's feet.

"I'll help you find it." Zoe decided. "When did you last see it? We can backtrack from there."

Jared tried to think back to the last time he had it. It was hard for him to remember though, it fit his head well, so it didn't really feel like much when he did have it on.

"I think I had it when I was talking to a girl named Christine over by the punch bowl." Jared tried to remember if he had it on after, bit it was all a blur.

"Well let's start with her. We can ask her if she's seen it, and if not we'll just look around." Zoe declared, grabbing Jared by the hand and marching off in the direction of the punch bowl.

___

Evan was confused to say the least. The prince had been staring at him. Of all people, the fucking prince. Evan felt blessed. The prince looked at him! (Evan has had a lil crush on the prince for quite a while now. But he'd never admit to it.) The thing that worried Evan was how quick the prince had taken off in the other direction as soon as he had made eye contact. Did he really look that bad?

The other thing that worried Evan was the prince's crown. It was lying on the marble floor a couple feet away. He couldn't believe no one had seen it yet.

Evan closed the distance and picked up the golden crown. He looked at it for a couple seconds before deciding "I should probably find him and give this back."

__________

**i will not be editing this because of i'm tired and everything hurts**

_**thank you** _

**-sincerely, your favorite creature of the void**


	3. Chapter 3

Christine sat in the corner of the ballroom giggling and hiccuping, a glass of punch sloshing around in her hand. Her hair had gone a bit frizzy, and one of her shoes was lying upside down a couple feet away. She was very obviously drunk. It was a little surprising that one of the castle guards hadn't noticed her and removed her from the ballroom. She wasn't doing any harm so they must have just decided to let her be.

"Jesus Christ." Zoe exclaimed upon seeing Christine. "What the hell happened to her?"

"I may or may not have spiked the punch." Jared said proudly. Although that's probably not something he should have been proud of.

"Nice." Zoe said, holding her hand out for a high five which Jared promptly slapped.

"And by the looks of it," Jared gestured to the dozen or so cups littering the table (and floor). "She's probably pretty drunk right now."

"It looks like she's the only one though. I wonder why?" Jared said sadly. He was hoping he could get everyone here drunk so his father would have to kick them all out, and he could go back to his room and sleep.

"Probably because anyone who had any punch immediately thew the rest away after one sip. That stuff was sickeningly sweet." Zoe said, scrunching up her face in disgust.

Zoe was right. Almost nobody had touched the punch, and the ones who did tossed it in the trash. She wondered who the fuck even made that stuff, and why they would bring it upon this cursed land.

"Yea, I don't think she's gonna be much help." Jared said, and started to walk away.

Zoe grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him back around.

"I think we should talk to her," Zoe said, a mischievous grin on her face. "I wonder what kind of moral wisdom we can get from talking to a drunk person." She Laughed.

"Yea, no. Let's not do that." Jared said, and turned on his heel away from the disastrous punch bowl.

"Aww, you're boring." Zoe complained, following close behind him.

The two of them scouted around the ballroom for the next half hour. Checking all the places Jared had been, and even the ones he hadn't. After the whole ballroom had been checked at least once, they came to the conclusion that they were't going to find it.

Jared's fast pace slowed to a stop as he realized that he didn't know what to do now. The crown wasn't anywhere he had been, and its not like anybody could have shoved it in their pocket. It was too big for that. Jared's parents were going to kill him. But the hunt wasn't over yet, he still had one last trick up his sleeve.

"What do we do now?" Zoe asked. "We've looked everywhere. I better not end up getting killed by your dad if you don't find it."

"I have a friend who might be able to help us find it," Jared said. "But I don't think she's out here."

Jared motioned for Zoe to follow him out of the ballroom. They walked down a long winding hallway until it came to and end at the kitchen. Zoe looked around. She didn't think she was allowed to be in the kitchen.

There were servant chopping vegetables, cooking meat, and frosting and decorating cakes. There was also a guy pouring sugar into a bowl of red punch. Zoe glared at him. But she'd be lying if she said it didn't smell amazing in there.

"Hey, am I supposed to be back here?" Zoe asked.

"Eh, I'm sure you'll be fine if you're with me." Jared replied.

That didn't sound very convincing. 

Jared weaved through the servants until he got to the sinks. He turned to Zoe and put a finger to his lips before sneaking up behind a girl who was doing dishes. He was about an inch from the back of her head before he yelled,

"BOO!" Jared yelled right into her ear.

"AHH!" She screamed, and threw a soapy sponge right at Jared's face.

"Ow! Alana! There's soap in my eyes." Jared whined, reaching for a towel off the rack.

"You deserved it, you asshole." Alana said, and shut off the sink. 

"Why do you hate meeeeeee." Jared cried as he groped for his glasses that had fallen off when the sponge hit his face.

Alana decided to ignore that question because Jared already knew the answer, and instead asked, "What did you guys want?"

She had been helping the servants make dinner. She was always helping everybody. She practically ran her own kingdom even though she was only a princess.

"I can't find my crown" Jared said. He had given up on finding his glassed and opted to lying face down on the kitchen floor instead.

"Come on, get up. I'll help you find it." Alana said. She took off her rubber gloves and laid them on a rack to dry.

The three of them left the kitchen, walked back down the long hallway, and back into the ballroom. Alana in the lead.

"Hey, Jared, I've been looking for you." Jared's dad said as soon as they entered the ballroom.

"He had Jared's crown in his hand, and a stern look on his face. That face said that Jared was about to get yelled at and probably grounded for almost losing his crown again. ("Again?" You're saying, but that's a story for another time.)

But before Jared could make up some excuse on why he had lost his crown his dad said,

"There was a young man that I just threw in the dungeons for trying to steal this. Would you care to explain how it got into his possession?"

Honestly, Jared would rather not explain that. Though it did make sense why they couldn't find it.He was still confused as to how he lost it. It's not like whoever tried to steal it just took it off his head, right?"

"I dropped it?" Jared said, not sounding very believable.

"Sure you did." Jared's dad sighed. "I'm just glad we found it. You're going to put me in an early grave for all the shit you get into."

Jared rolled his eyes.

___

Evan watched the prince the ballroom with another girl in tow. Knowing he probably should follow them, he went with the next best option: bringing the crown straight to the King and Queen.

Evan made his way through the crowd of fancily dressed civilians up to where the King and Queen sat on their thrones. He debated the best way to return the crown. He could just walk right up the steps and give it to them, but he didn't think that he was even allowed on the stairs. He could also bring it to one of the royal guards, and risk being framed for stealing.

Unfortunately, none of that even had the chance to happen. While Evan was deciding what to do, the King saw him standing there holding his son's crown. He then proceeded to stand up, point directly at Evan and shout, 

"Guards, seize him!"

________________________

**here, take this.**

***shoves this chapter into your hand and runs away***

**-sincerely, your favorite creature of the void**


	4. Chapter 4

"I can't believe someone tried to steal your crown." Alana commented as soon as the three of them were out of earshot of the king.

"I wonder who it was?" Jared said. "And how did they get it? I don't remember losing it."

"I probably know who it was, I know everybody in this kingdom." Zoe bragged. She wasn't lying either. She was very social, and made it a priority to know everybody.

" _ohmygod,_ we should totally sneak into the dungeons to find out who it was!" Alana whispered excitedly. This was a bit surprising coming from her. Alana rarely did anything that could get her in trouble.

"That's a terrible idea." Jared deadpanned, and then with a huge smile, "I love it."

"And there's only one guard," He added. "The rest of them are in here, I think."

And with that, Jared led the way out of the ballroom again. They walked down another long hallway before coming to a halt before the guard blocking the giant metal door that was the entrance to the dungeons.

Upon approaching the guard, Jared turned to Zoe and Alana and whispered "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave." Zoe snickered.

The guard gave them a weird look and said, "My prince, shouldn't you be in the ballroom?"

"See that's the thing," Jared said, sounding very much like he was lying. "I accidentally lost my crown and some guy tried to steal it." The guard raised an eyebrow. "So now my dad is making me go talk to the guy as punishment." Jared finished, looking very pleased with himself.

"Sounds believable." The guard said, and opened the giant metal door.

Jared wasn't sure why they even had that door. It's not like it was any harder to open the door from the inside. The door had literally had no other purpose than to look creepy and ominous.

Nevertheless, they made their way through the dungeon, the metal door slamming shut behind them. A muffled "Sorry!" come from behind it.

There were about thirty cells in the dungeons, and only one cell was currently occupied. The dungeons were pretty much useless. There hadn't been a person held captive in any of the cells for almost five years.

But that didn't stop the cells from being creepy and gross. It was eerily quiet, the only noises being the drip of water somewhere, and the scuttle and squeaks of rats.

The iron bars of every cell were rusty beyond recognition, and the only light came from a few small, barred windows on the right side of the dungeon.

The floor was even worse. Originally it had been cement, but now the floor was covered in a layer of dirt and puddles of something that probably wasn't water.

So basically it was like Hell, but worse.

The only occupant of the dungeons was sitting in the corner in one of the only dry patches of cell 29. His knees were pulled tight to his chest, and he was crying quietly into his arms.

"My god, this place stinks." Zoe commented. Her voice echoing around the dungeon. She was holding her nose and swatting at the flies swarming around their heads.

"Zoe?" A small voice coming from the corner of cell 29 asked.

"Hello?" Zoe said back, peering through the darkness at whoever had said her name.

"Oh my god, Evan?" Zoe exclaimed upon realizing who it was.

" _You_ tried to steal the crown?" Zoe asked. "But you would never steal anything." She remarked. She was right, Evan would never think of stealing anything, let alone the prince's crown.

"I didn't!" Evan sobbed. "I was going to give it back, but before I could say anything I got thrown in here."

Jared was angry to say the least. His father had thrown this (cute) boy in the dungeon for trying to give his crown back. What kind of asshole would do that?

"We're breaking you out." Zoe decided.

"No, you shouldn't." Evan said before she could unlock the door."I don't want you guys to get in trouble."

"Well too bad, you don't have a choice." Zoe said.

"How are we supposed to sneak him past the guard?" Jared asked.

Alana had been awfully quiet the whole time. Jared could tell that she was planning something.

"Wasn't there a ladder built in here a couple years ago?" Alana finally said.

There was a ladder Jared remembered. It was built about three years ago when the door to the dungeons got jammed, and they needed a way in for "maintenance purposes".

The king had figured that it was fine to leave it there because very few people knew it was there, and it wasn't visible from the cells, so no prisoners would be able to escape through it.

The ladder went from the bottom of the dungeons, and up about thirty feet before it met a small trapdoor in the ceiling that went through the third floor. If they wanted any shot of getting Evan out of here, the ladder was the way to go.

"Holy shit Alana, you're a genius!" Jared said. There weren't any guards past the first floor right now, so that would be perfect.

"Okay, I'm getting Evan out of here." Zoe said, unlocking his cell door. It was the ind of door that just had a bar you'd have to slide to one side to open, nothing that required a key luckily.

She pushed the door open with a loud creak. Everyone in the room held their breath for a second, hoping the guard hadn't heard it. After a couple of seconds they breathed out a sigh of relief as the big metal door remained shut.

Zoe practically ran over to where Evan was sitting in the corner, and helped him up. He wasn't physically harmed at all, she just felt like it was the right thing to do. As they left the cell Evan said, 

"Won't they notice I'm gone?"

To which Jared said,

"Nah, I don't think so. Nobody's gonna come in here unless they absolutely have to."

The four of them made their way to the back of the dungeons where the ladder was waiting, Evan and Zoe hand in hand.

She could feel his hands shaking. Which was fair, Evan had been through a lot today. Zoe was worried. He was a little bit fragile, and she didn't want to see him get hurt.

"So Evan," Alana said. "You're gonna have ti climb all the way up there, and then get out through the door up there." Alana pointed up to the barely visible square shaped piece of wood on the ceiling. Evan nodded grimly.

"Would this be a bad time to ask if you're afraid of heights?" Jared added.

"No, I'm not." Evan answered. He could do this. He knew he could. Evan had climbed plenty of trees. This is just like that, right?

"Unfortunately, we can't go with you." Alana said. "We've got to go back out the way we came or the guard will get suspicious, but we'll meet you on the third floor."

"Okay." Evan said, not very confidently. "I can do it by myself."

"We should probably go now." Zoe said. "We've been here for like twenty minutes, I don't want the guard to come looking for us."

"Good luck Evan, we'll see you on the other side." Alana said, and the three of them left the dungeons, leaving Evan all alone again.

__________

**I had a piece of gum in my mouth when i started typing this and now i don't. I'm not sure where it went and its making me concerned.**

**-sincerely, your favorite creature of the void**


	5. Chapter 5

The sound of the bell rang out through the castle. It chimes eight times then stopped, signaling the end of the ball.

Jared, Zoe, and Alana were sprinting up sets of stairs to get to the third floor when it happened.

"Shit." Zoe said, stopping in her tracks. "We have to go," She said, gesturing to Alana. "We're gonna get in trouble if we stick around after the ball."

"I'm sure my dad would be _thrilled_ if he found me with not one, but _two_ girls in my room." Jared mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Yea, you guys should probably leave before you get thrown in the dungeons too." Jared laughed awkwardly.

Alana and Zoe said their goodbyes and hurried back down the red and gold carpeted stairs.

Jared was just about to head back up to find Evan when his father came stomping up the stairs. And by the looks of it, he was pissed.

"Do you know anything about out missing prisoner?" The King asked, eyeing Jared suspiciously.

"The guard outside the dungeons went to check on the thief and he wasn't there." Jared's dad informed him. "I'm told that you, princess Alana, and another girl were the last people to see him."

Jared froze up a bit. He hadn't thought they would notice Evan was gone as soon as they did. Jared tried to look as though he was just hearing this information, and not as if he were the one who had broken the "thief" out.

"He was still locked in his cell when we left." Jared lied.

"Okay. I was just making sure." The King said. "It didn't seem like something you would do anyway, I just thought I'd ask."

Jared felt a little bit offended. Breaking someone out of prison is totally something he would do!

The King started up towards his room on the third floor.

Jared internally panicked. If Evan had made it up the ladder he should be fight outside his fathers room. He frantically tried to think of an excuse for his father to go back downstairs, but nothing came to mind.

Suddenly, a voice from the bottom of the stairs yelled: "Your highness, one of the guards thinks he's spotted the thief!"

The King turned on his heel, a smile present on his face, and headed back down the stairs. "Well then lead me to him."

Jared breathed a sigh of relief. Then he remembered what he was supposed to be doing. He wouldn't have much time before they realized that it wasn't Evan.

Speaking of Evan, Jared wondered what to do with him. He couldn't send him home just yet (and he didn't really want to either). When the king couldn't find the "thief" in the castle he would probably try and search the rest of the kingdom. Jared figured that the only place they wouldn't look was his room. With that in mind, he rushed up the rest of the stairs to go find Evan.

Jared rounded the corner at the top of the staircase to see the hallway before him was completely empty.

_That's odd,_ Jared thought. _Evan should be here by now. SHIT WHAT IF HE FELL!_

Jared scrambled towards the trap door that was hidden under another ridiculously expensive, ridiculously ugly rug. Jared mentally scoffed. He didn't understand why they needed so many rugs, this hallway was already carpeted.

Jared flipped up the rug and attempted to pry up the trap door. He struggled with the door for a few more seconds before he sighed, giving up.

"Wait!" Jared exclaimed. He stood up and ran to the nearest flagpole. There were loads of flags lining the hallway. (The King and his massive ego. He felt the need to flaunt the fact that he was king even in his own castle.)

Jared grabbed the nearest pole and shoved it under the carpet where his fingers couldn't reach and pried up the door.

He was met with the face of a slightly teary-eyed Evan who was squinting up through the hole at him.

"Holy shit, I thought you fell. Are you okay?" Jared lent Evan his hand and helped him out of the dungeons.

"I'm fine." Evan replied. "I just got scared because I thought you forgot about me."

"Jesus, your hands are cold." Jared exclaimed. _Well that would make sense,_ Jared thought. _He was down there for over an hour and it's February._

"Lets get you warmed up." Jared said, taking Evan by the hand and leading him to his room.

\----

An hour later Evan sat in Jared's bed all wrapped up in Jared's blankets, and in a warm pair of pajamas (that also happened to be Jared's). He sipped on a steaming cup of tea while Jared laid on the other side of the bed and told him about what it was like to be a prince, not sparing any details about the shitty meetings he had to attend to prepare him to be king.

_I could get used to this._

**_\-------------_ **

**my head hurts. i crave death**

**-sincerely, your favorite creature of the** **void**


End file.
